Weeks ago, I attended a church service, and a pastor gave her talk...which touched the deepest soul of mine that none have ever reach up until now.
What she said is very true, and the reason it touched me is that I can relate myself to her, the similar situation we have had encountered. I was sent to an English kindergarten when I am small, which is why I do not even know a single Chinese word when I am in primary school. Everyone sees you like an alien, laughed at you, treat you like an outcast. I would just smile back at them, not understanding a single word they say....Those experience...I guess it is the very reason I had such low self-esteem up until now. Yes, I never dare to answer questions that the teachers ask, even if I knew the answer. However, it is fortunate of me to meet a form teacher who is willing to dedicate her time to teach me, and I am very thankful to her now that I manage to speak, read or write in Chinese.
Yes...who would know that behind that smile...lies a broken soul....engulfed by darkness, tied by unbreakable chains... And now I am being thrown back into this endless pit, surrounded by people I knew yet do not know... Everyday seem to be living in a world which I have been familiar with for 20 years, yet seem so unfamiliar, as if, it's a new world I know nothing about...woke up from 20 years sleep, dream....
However, life is all about learning and experience, no matter how bad things turn out to be, one should just learn to cope with it, and when you have gotten use to it, things will turn out to be easier... Although you do not know when this world that you have gotten use to it will change and shift into one you do not recognise again, by then you should just back to square one, and start all over again...
Just typing a shit load of crap...which is the purpose of this blog...peace...^^v
Monday, August 30, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Our hero has fallen~
Yea yea, I know that sounds familiar. But that is not the point.
Days ago, which seem like just yesterday, I am enlightened by some news. Although it is predictable, just that I never it would have turned out this way. What's more? Things that my guts told me have come to be facts! Unfortunately, what my guts tell me has always been right, which I do not know should it be a bless or curse anymore...I guess that's pretty much it huh?
Well...what happened, and the continuation of the incident, made me feel like nothing seem to be real in this world, or who can be trusted anymore...The worst thing is, when a home does not feel like a home anymore, how does one cope with it...? How can one, simply erase one from one's life after years of friendship, living together every single moment? Moreover, how can one on the wrong side, blaming another for stating facts? Although what I mention is only, well, as a reminder to not doing bad things or to hurt anyone in my lifetime, basically my principles of life...Thus, when I saw this phrase in a drama series and somehow, I feel like quoting it here, although I am not entirely agree that ghosts do not exist in this world haha...It's the Hungry Ghost Month everyone! So here it is, it is a direct quote: "这世界上是没有鬼的，但我知道当一个人做错事之后，他心中就会有一只鬼，而这只鬼会永远跟着他..."
Well, though I am just an indirect party, it cant be said that there is no connection. Although I have decided not to bother anymore, but every passing day is like a living hell... Sigh...what should have become a happy paradise turned out to be a horror nightmare...I just wanna go home, back to the one one can truely call a home...where there's warmth and love...Mom, Dad, Bro...I missed you all T_T....I wonder...what's the definition of friend, friendship....If only someone can save me out of this misery hell...
Days ago, which seem like just yesterday, I am enlightened by some news. Although it is predictable, just that I never it would have turned out this way. What's more? Things that my guts told me have come to be facts! Unfortunately, what my guts tell me has always been right, which I do not know should it be a bless or curse anymore...I guess that's pretty much it huh?
Well...what happened, and the continuation of the incident, made me feel like nothing seem to be real in this world, or who can be trusted anymore...The worst thing is, when a home does not feel like a home anymore, how does one cope with it...? How can one, simply erase one from one's life after years of friendship, living together every single moment? Moreover, how can one on the wrong side, blaming another for stating facts? Although what I mention is only, well, as a reminder to not doing bad things or to hurt anyone in my lifetime, basically my principles of life...Thus, when I saw this phrase in a drama series and somehow, I feel like quoting it here, although I am not entirely agree that ghosts do not exist in this world haha...It's the Hungry Ghost Month everyone! So here it is, it is a direct quote: "这世界上是没有鬼的，但我知道当一个人做错事之后，他心中就会有一只鬼，而这只鬼会永远跟着他..."
Well, though I am just an indirect party, it cant be said that there is no connection. Although I have decided not to bother anymore, but every passing day is like a living hell... Sigh...what should have become a happy paradise turned out to be a horror nightmare...I just wanna go home, back to the one one can truely call a home...where there's warmth and love...Mom, Dad, Bro...I missed you all T_T....I wonder...what's the definition of friend, friendship....If only someone can save me out of this misery hell...
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Prologue
Heya fellas! Let's start the blog with the emo style cause I have been emo for quite some time ROFL!
Here it goes...you know...apart from being with parents n siblings, the time we spent most with other people is definitely, our friends. Yeah...friends...n being able to go overseas together, traveling together, studying together, eating together...basically...doing life together...is indeed a blessing one could ever wish for. I always hope to have these moments when I am small and I did get to fulfill it, of course, with my parents' blessing.
I must say, regardless of people's opinions, whether they think I am boasting or what, I treasure what I get as they are the moments I have wished for, n I treat all my friends whole-heartedly, for being able to meet up and do life together is not mere coincidence, it's like fate, destiny, or arrangement by God or so...
Unfortunately, life...being its own cruel self...is never a smooth sail...there are times when it's like the raging waves during a storm...ups and downs. As a friend, what will you do when you see your friend is down, emo-ing? I do not want to say what other people will do, but for me, I'd surely pour my heart into caring them and cheer them up in my own ways.
So here I am...feeling all down...emo in my own room, for whatever reasons they may be... Guess what sort of treatment I got? Firstly, they'd ask, why you emo? I thought, wow...they care for me, how touching... Ok...that's not it, they are just wondering if they are the reason I am down... Curiosity...hmmm...interesting. Then they will just go on doing their stuffs...n what's more? Shit, he is emo-ing, what an all-time emo bastard, just let him be...N oh ya, let's go do this and that! Oh fuck, he is emo-ing...don't bother him... Yes, you are right. I got judged, neglected, abandoned, boycotted, ignored...and whatever words you can come out with... So yeah, instead of caring and cheering, I got all these shit...so I go on, emo and emo and emo... To make it worst, there are even more ridiculous thing happened! Not gonna mention it here, I respect people's privacy too. ^^
But hell! Emo-ing ain't gonna get me no where! Continue to down only leave me back in square one, it's time to move on! I have got to see what I get by treating people whole-heartedly, of course, there are reasonable logic, not all people are like that. But guess what, who gives a damn anymore right? Just move on! I gonna change for the better and of course, like always, I do stuff being able to face my ownself, my own heart and I do them proudly in the light and I will never do things sorry to my friends! No point continue to emo because nothing will change right? :)
Moral values? I think there are some...
If you got the time to judge people, why not try judging your own self first?
Suspicions? The only reason suspicions arise is because of one's own actions.
Never do things that will hurt your friend.
Of course, like I mentioned previously, just pouring out my own feelings and they are not meant to shoot anyone out there, if you know what I mean. Well, that's it for now! Cheers! ^^b
Here it goes...you know...apart from being with parents n siblings, the time we spent most with other people is definitely, our friends. Yeah...friends...n being able to go overseas together, traveling together, studying together, eating together...basically...doing life together...is indeed a blessing one could ever wish for. I always hope to have these moments when I am small and I did get to fulfill it, of course, with my parents' blessing.
I must say, regardless of people's opinions, whether they think I am boasting or what, I treasure what I get as they are the moments I have wished for, n I treat all my friends whole-heartedly, for being able to meet up and do life together is not mere coincidence, it's like fate, destiny, or arrangement by God or so...
Unfortunately, life...being its own cruel self...is never a smooth sail...there are times when it's like the raging waves during a storm...ups and downs. As a friend, what will you do when you see your friend is down, emo-ing? I do not want to say what other people will do, but for me, I'd surely pour my heart into caring them and cheer them up in my own ways.
So here I am...feeling all down...emo in my own room, for whatever reasons they may be... Guess what sort of treatment I got? Firstly, they'd ask, why you emo? I thought, wow...they care for me, how touching... Ok...that's not it, they are just wondering if they are the reason I am down... Curiosity...hmmm...interesting. Then they will just go on doing their stuffs...n what's more? Shit, he is emo-ing, what an all-time emo bastard, just let him be...N oh ya, let's go do this and that! Oh fuck, he is emo-ing...don't bother him... Yes, you are right. I got judged, neglected, abandoned, boycotted, ignored...and whatever words you can come out with... So yeah, instead of caring and cheering, I got all these shit...so I go on, emo and emo and emo... To make it worst, there are even more ridiculous thing happened! Not gonna mention it here, I respect people's privacy too. ^^
But hell! Emo-ing ain't gonna get me no where! Continue to down only leave me back in square one, it's time to move on! I have got to see what I get by treating people whole-heartedly, of course, there are reasonable logic, not all people are like that. But guess what, who gives a damn anymore right? Just move on! I gonna change for the better and of course, like always, I do stuff being able to face my ownself, my own heart and I do them proudly in the light and I will never do things sorry to my friends! No point continue to emo because nothing will change right? :)
Moral values? I think there are some...
If you got the time to judge people, why not try judging your own self first?
Suspicions? The only reason suspicions arise is because of one's own actions.
Never do things that will hurt your friend.
Of course, like I mentioned previously, just pouring out my own feelings and they are not meant to shoot anyone out there, if you know what I mean. Well, that's it for now! Cheers! ^^b
Introduction
Well, I used to have a blog but I never update or bother to go and see it. Now, I'd like to start a new one, well, the main purpose being it as a place to express my opinions, feelings, just life and stuff, you know. And most definitely, the blog is not meant to be used as a tool for me to shoot anyone out there. ^^
That's it! The introduction! Simple huh? XD
That's it! The introduction! Simple huh? XD
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